As my last post noted, I may have failed miserably at my goals for the year in an epic, super-heated, transmuted-to-plasma-crash-and-burn sorta way, but I have proven one thing this year: I can write shitty fiction.
Errr, well, this guy named Dirk Masters can. HE wrote this really terrible story and sent it into a contest. I simply passed on the link… OR DID I?
Cue dramatic music
Cue movie guy voice
An enormous member.
A cruise missile tracking his every move.
Oh, and a cement-filled refrigerator.
Discover the thrilling, agonizing ride that is: GRANDPA IN A BOX!
Tom Cruise screaming GRANDPA!
(Coming to theaters soon, in a big way – Spider Man, Harry Potter, Avengers, EAT MY SMOKE!)
Head on over to Zizek Press and check it out. The only thing I cannot take credit for is the fact that as of my last viewing, the entire story is center justified. I’m kicking myself for not sending it to them that way. In fact, I should have sent it in 24 point comic sans. A totally missed opportunity. I suspect it’s an HTML error, but I’m loath to bring it to their attention. I’d right justify the damn thing if I could. It’s that wrong.
Please feel free to leave comments about how shitty this story is. This is perhaps the only time I will forgive you for doing so.